Cara Writes

*If you're reading this on a phone, click on the pictures to see them clearly, they look blurry otherwise. Today was such an unexpectedly emotional day. I was thinking about the piles of letters from camp and my friends in high school that are just all lumped together in a box. I decided I wanted to organize them, and put them into plastic ziplock bags chronicled by year so they’re a little more organized. I should know by now that when I go digging in the past I’m bound to be swept up by emotion, and in the past this day might have wrecked me, but it didn’t today. My main form of expression has always been words, so being consumed in everyone’s words today was like a literal journey back into all these different years of my life, and I was able to heal in some ways through them. Last year in 2016 was the year that I really discovered just how important my relationships and friendships are essential to my happiness. My theme word was “connection,” and in the beginning it fel

1.2.17 I can reflect in the car I can reflect in the shower But on paper it’ll take me Five million hours I’m feeling a little Dr. Seuss inspired as I finally force myself to sit and write what’s been gurgling around for days, even weeks. I tried to force myself to do this yesterday, but another Gilmore Girls binge was more enticing, as you can imagine. 2016 was a hell of a year. It was the year I decided to stop being numb. When I let go of staying in neutral, it opened the flood levies for whatever came rushing behind it, and I just prayed it wouldn’t drown me. When I finally let go of what I’ve spent years and years patching and building, what came rushing in was intense growth, struggle, triumph, disappointment, success, courage, failure, acceptance, risks, regret, fear, bravery, and all the other things we hope we can be, or hope we never have to be, until we actually have to be them, and then we want to run like hell. As I reread over that list of everyt