Skip to main content

Catfish

I’m floating, but am I flying? I drift just high enough to see the catfish clawing at the 12 grain bread loaf. I feel aloof. I’m magnetized towards number One, fighting this endless drift that I try to shake off like salty beach water. It clings. I can taste it in my mouth. The door- not the door. The Drift listens as it hovers me over the roof, and plants me by the window. They’re smiling. I knew they would be. My vision blurs, I heave, trying to catch my breath before it escapes and they notice I’m here. I’m not here, I’m not here, I never was.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Mondays with The General: Going with What You've Got

By nature, horses are unpredictable. Even so-called "bomb proof" horses have those moments where something spooks them, and you find yourself clinging to a galloping neck down a beach, hoping your horse doesn't jump the metal barrier onto a highway (see my 10th birthday for an example). When I was a beginner, I wanted stability. I barely had any riding muscles, and I hadn't been riding long enough to know all the things that can happen when you enter into a riding relationship with a horse. As I got older, and braver, I had a lot more experience, and craved those green horses, unpredictability, and the thrill of seeing what could happen taking a novice horse over a jump that was way too big. I rode consistently through college, and never imagined it wouldn't be a focus of my life, never mind that I would take any "time off." But, adulting happens, and something I once spent every waking moment thinking about suddenly became a memory. I had a few y...

Writhing With(in) Ink

This pigment creeps; It turns my pallid skin into shades of smudged charcoal, Breathing Black. Ink. I'm sinking in this puddle, my body a dying star collapsing in on itself only to expand again and diffuse into the universe I wonder if you notice the ampersand of my mouth every breath giving birth to letters and numbers forming mushroom clouds beneath the ceiling-- Each breath is potential every gaze a new word melded somewhere between this life and the unrealized Cool finger tips caress along my meridian lines tracing out the next stanza of a broken hearted widow or a school girl named Jaimie. I writhe with(in) this ink like a carbon copy pressed to metal, the pressure subsides and all that is left are faded imprints of the original There's a question mark on my forehead, it refuses to break loose.

Cherry Blossom Fantasies

Yesterday on my walk with Jack we came across these beautiful cherry blossom trees. "The significance of the cherry blossom tree in Japanese culture goes back hundreds of years. In their country, the cherry blossom represents the fragility and the beauty of life. It’s a reminder that life is almost overwhelmingly beautiful but that it is also tragically short. When the cherry blossom trees bloom for a short time each year in brilliant force, they serve as a visual reminder of how precious and how precarious life is" (Cantu) . Kind of ironic that I noticed and appreciated them on my dad's birthday, but if you read my entry from yesterday , you already know that I don't really believe in coincidence.  I've been thinking a lot lately about the idea of impermanence, and how "safety" and "control" are really just false states. Whatever I have in my life, I get to have today, perhaps this moment, but it might not be that way in five years...