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Elegy for Joe

It was cavalier, almost, the way you threw money
like you threw saddles, buying affection and favors.
18 years you were gone.
You returned to the same horse, same saddle,
same mountains that protected your secrets.

Join me for a ride, you said.
Her mother;
everyone loved you.
She couldn’t say no.

She went for a ride and drank your wine
and kissed you harder on the lips, just how you wanted.
She did what you asked: smiled to your wife
at your daughter’s birthday –
a girl twice her age.

She grinned, vomited in your bathroom,
said the ride to your house was tough.
She stayed because she couldn’t escape
at 15 and you knew.

18 years you were gone…

Us two, we held your wife as she cried
Like locks on your secrets we intertwined
our hands and walked past your memories.
Felt like sinners when we thought,
we were glad you died.

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