The Father -- Hansel and Gretel

When faced with the basic human ill of
starvation clouds set in the ego and fog
all sense of morality.

It's impossible to fathom sending my
kin into the woods, helpless and alone.
But love -- love and hunger blind all
ability for rational choice.

Go ahead and judge me, trust there is
no harsher critic than my own conscience.
My conscience and God. I worry about my
soul sometimes. It's hard to understand
reasoning of the divine -- which relationship
He values more.

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My Big Fat Greek Krisis

Sylvia Plath- The Bell Jar I taught this novel my first year of teaching, and at the time my figs were pretty clear: find an apartment, get a job. A few years later the figs were to have fun, go out with friends, ride horses, go to graduate school, buy my own place, get a dog, get a boyfriend. In November 2016 I realized that I returned the tree. Did I choose the right ones? Did I just pick the easiest ones to grasp? What about the ones I didn't even see for myself when I was 21, and 25? * November, 2016 There’s a birthmark on my breast, and I have no idea how long it’s been there. I could consult the dermatologist who took pictures of my body at fourteen, or my most recent ex-boyfriend, but I really don’t want to do either of those. I shower, and dress, and see my body every day in the mirror, but one day, I noticed the mark. I wonder how many days I looked and didn’t see it, or how many days it actually wasn’t there, until one day it was, and how many ...

PS- I think I'll eventually think of a more creative title for this page. Although Jalisa vehemently disagrees.

Cherry Blossom Fantasies

Yesterday on my walk with Jack we came across these beautiful cherry blossom trees. "The significance of the cherry blossom tree in Japanese culture goes back hundreds of years. In their country, the cherry blossom represents the fragility and the beauty of life. It’s a reminder that life is almost overwhelmingly beautiful but that it is also tragically short. When the cherry blossom trees bloom for a short time each year in brilliant force, they serve as a visual reminder of how precious and how precarious life is" (Cantu) . Kind of ironic that I noticed and appreciated them on my dad's birthday, but if you read my entry from yesterday , you already know that I don't really believe in coincidence. I've been thinking a lot lately about the idea of impermanence, and how "safety" and "control" are really just false states. Whatever I have in my life, I get to have today, perhaps this moment, but it might not be that way in five years...

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